


Five Times Cougar Thought Jensen Was Bad at Flirting and One Time He Didn't

by Amethystina



Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: And Happy Ending, Bad Flirting, But they sort it out, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Trading Losers, Trading Losers 2018, some jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16988538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina
Summary: Jensen has always been bad at flirting. Over the years, Cougar has seen him strike out time and time again, to the point where he kind of feels sorry for him. It's almostimpressivehow terrible Jensen is at it, but Cougar has accepted his best friends' lack of prowess as one of those things that makes Jensen who he is.Cougar is therefore not sure what to believe when he starts noticing some conflicting evidence. Clues that suggest that, maybe, Jensen isn't as terrible at flirting as Cougar has been led to believe.WhyJensen would lie about something like that is a mystery, but it can't be denied that Jensen is definitely hidingsomething.And Cougar is going to find out what.





	Five Times Cougar Thought Jensen Was Bad at Flirting and One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buckybunnyteeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybunnyteeth/gifts).



> This is for [buckybunnyteeth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybunnyteeth/pseuds/buckybunnyteeth) who took part in [Trading Losers](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/post/169044434668/hey-losers-its-time)! The prompt I got was "Jensen is really bad at flirting. Or is he?"
> 
> I thought that was very interesting since, well, fandom has sort of decided that JJ IS bad at flirting. But what if he wasn't? What would that mean for his and Cougar's relationship? So this is that, I suppose. And I, for some reason, wrote 11k on it. So, uh, yeah. I hope you'll like it!
> 
> Thank you to [Shi_Toyu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shi_Toyu) for beta reading! <3

 

**1.**

"Oh no, here we go again." Pooch shook his head and, with a grimace, looked away in secondhand embarrassment.

Cougar didn't, even if he probably should.

Watching Jensen flirt with someone was kind of like staring at a train wreck — it wasn't polite but, at the same time, so morbidly fascinating that you couldn't help it. The first time Cougar had seen Jensen flirt with a girl, way back when they had just become a team, he had been surprised, to tell the truth. Jensen was loud and obnoxious, sure, but also caring and eager to please, so Cougar had expected him to be quite charming.

That was not the case.

Jensen's enthusiasm always had an edge of desperation to it and, despite his best attempts, he always came across as _too_ eager. He was awkward and stumbled over his words, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, often appearing immature or, on a bad day, bordering on stupid. Jensen liked to talk, at length and without pause, but he seemed to suffer from stage fright every time he tried to communicate with a woman he liked, resulting in him sounding even less coherent than usual.

The simple truth was that Jensen was terribly bad at flirting.

Cougar watched in silence, absently picking at the label of his empty beer bottle, as Jensen approached a beautiful blonde woman by the bar. The place was busy, the sound of laughter and talking drowning out whatever Jensen was saying to the woman. Still, Cougar read lips well enough to get the gist of it.

"You come here often?"

Cougar couldn't for the life of him understand why Jensen insisted on using such clichés. It was as if he was getting his ideas from a _Dating for Dummies_ book from the nineties and, even then, had no idea how to actually implement them. While Cougar would never call Jensen pathetic, he would be lying if he said he didn't feel sorry for him, at least when it came to this.

It couldn't be easy to be this terrible at flirting.

Understandably, the woman wasn't impressed. The look on her face was just shy of scornful, but, as with most people, her gaze flicked down to Jensen's body, lingering just a couple of seconds too long to seem uninterested. Cougar supposed he could understand that — Jensen had an admittedly attractive physique and a very handsome face — but it never seemed to be enough after he had opened his mouth.

"No," was her flat response and, with a dismissive flick of her hair, she turned away.

Jensen blinked, dumbfounded, and seemed on the verge of trying to pick the conversation back up again, if only to ask what he'd done wrong. Cougar had seen that happen many times. And, like so many times before, he decided it was best to intervene. Partly to make sure that Jensen didn't make an even bigger fool out of himself than he already had, but also to spare the woman any more painfully awkward flirting.

So, Cougar gave Pooch's shoulder a quick pat, pushed his bottle aside, and got to his feet. Immediately, despite being half a room away, Jensen's head turned, his gaze snapping to find Cougar's. Sometimes, it was almost unnerving how _aware_ Jensen was of him — how his attention was inevitably drawn in Cougar's direction, without either of them even trying. Sure, it was mutual — Jensen was always the first person Cougar sought out in a room and the one he rarely lost track of — but Cougar was a sniper, trained to be aware of his surroundings at all times.

Jensen had no excuse.

Still, it was certainly useful. Cougar never had to struggle to catch Jensen's attention and he could divert Jensen-shaped disasters simply by moving or talking in his presence. Jensen _always_ paid attention to Cougar, which was immensely gratifying — and rather flattering, quite frankly.

Jensen was smiling by the time Cougar reached the bar and, as was so often the case lately, Cougar found himself smiling back. For all his weirdness, Jensen was a genuinely nice guy — kind, sweet, and caring — and his smiles, though abundant, were still precious to Cougar.

"Hiya, Cougs," Jensen greeted. He didn't seem particularly perturbed to have been shot down, but, then again, it happened so often that he was probably used to it by now. Or maybe he just hid it well, though Cougar doubted that. Jensen was terrible at lying to him.

"You want another beer?" Jensen asked, head tilted to the side and posture suddenly a lot more at ease than it had been when he spoke to the pretty woman. "I'm buying."

His tone was warm and full of fondness, and Cougar couldn't help thinking that if Jensen spoke like _this_ to those he wanted to woo, they would probably be less averse to going home with him. All those other times, Jensen was simply trying too hard. It was when he relaxed and just let himself _be_ that he was at his most charming, but only a chosen few ever got to see that.

"Sure," Cougar replied, not stupid enough to turn down free beer.

His gaze momentarily flicked over to the woman Jensen had tried to flirt with, but she was already on her way across the room with her drink, headed for a group of what Cougar assumed had to be her friends. Cougar's focus returned to Jensen, pleased to find that the smile on his face was nothing like the one he'd worn for her.

No, this one was for Cougar, full of the affection and devotion Jensen reserved just for him. Cougar could admit that he would never tire of seeing it.

Jensen flagged down the bartender to get another two beers and handed one of them to Cougar.

"Cheers?" Jensen offered, holding out his bottle. He looked inexplicably smug but, as was often the case, it was probably better not to ask.

With a fond huff, Cougar relented and clinked his bottle against Jensen's.

" _Salud_."

Thankfully, Jensen made no more attempts to flirt with random women and instead spent his time talking to Cougar, his smile effortless and eyes soft with contentment. He looked _happy_ and Cougar decided that he could take more or less full credit for that.

All things considered, it ended up being a pretty nice night.

 

* * *

 

**2.**

It seemed that even when they were in the middle of a mission, Jensen couldn't help flirting.

On the average op, he didn't get many opportunities to do so since they were usually sent to the jungle and other remote places, but now, well — a lot of things were different. They had been forced to sneak back into their own country, the death of twenty-five innocent children on their consciences, and were still obviously rattled from what had happened. It would take a long time before either of them were okay, Cougar knew.

So, perhaps it was understandable — maybe even excusable — if Jensen was so easily distracted that he ended up going off script.

Still, Cougar pursed his lips when Jensen did a double-take of the female EMT coming to his rescue. Jensen was as unsmooth as ever, blurting out the first thing that popped into his head in his haste to get to know her, and Cougar couldn't help rolling his eyes. If Jensen wasn't careful, he would blow their cover.

So, yes, maybe Cougar took a little more pleasure in tranquilizing the cute EMT than he should have. It was for the sake of the mission, he told himself, nothing else.

Besides, Jensen was too busy to go on a date.

Except that didn't stop him from attempting to flirt with Aisha, too, not long after, completely ignoring Cougar's warning headshake. She would no doubt eat Jensen alive, but he didn't seem to care. Like always, against Cougar's better judgment, Jensen wanted to give it a try.

As expected, she shot him down — rather creatively, Cougar might add — and Jensen quickly fled the scene. Had Cougar not been busy painting the helicopter, he might have followed, but decided against it. Jensen was a big boy and, if he repeatedly kept setting himself up for failure, he had to handle the fallout as well.

What Cougar couldn't understand was why Jensen never seemed to _learn_. He stayed consistently bad while, in all other fields, he picked up information so quickly it was dizzying, changing and adapting much quicker than anyone Cougar had ever known. And yet, for some reason, this one hurdle remained.

No matter how hard he tried, Jensen was just terribly bad at flirting.

Cougar didn't understand how that was even possible.

 

* * *

 

**3.**

Cougar didn't like being wrong. Partly because of self-preservation — in his field, being wrong could mean the difference between life and death — but it was also a point of pride. He was known for being observant and had built an entire career on his ability to read a situation and the people in it.

Being wrong left him with a creeping sense of dread and a bitter taste of failure at the back of his tongue.

They were visiting Jess and Beth in New Hampshire, taking a breather after the clusterfuck in L.A., when he found himself questioning his assessment of Jensen's ability to flirt. Well, okay, that might be pushing it — Cougar still had _years_ of anecdotal evidence to show how bad Jensen was at talking to girls — but there was certainly _something_ he had missed.

Otherwise, there would be no explanation for the woman who approached Jensen when he and Cougar were out grocery shopping.

Cougar saw her the moment she rounded the corner to the produce aisle, her eyes widening upon seeing Jensen. She clearly recognized him and, to Cougar's surprise, didn't turn right back around the moment she did. She even went as far as to bite her lip in a failed attempt to hold back a smile.

That was not usually the reaction Jensen got when a beautiful woman spotted him.

Because she was undeniably beautiful with long, auburn hair curling in soft waves, bright, blue eyes, and a dash of freckles across the bridge of her nose. And she was clearly _delighted_ to see Jensen.

"Jake!" Her smile was genuine, but Cougar didn't miss the way her gaze took a quick, appreciative detour down Jensen's body. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

Jensen's head snapped up, looking away from the lettuce he was inspecting. For a split second, Cougar could swear that he saw a flicker of concern on Jensen's face, but it was gone so quickly he couldn't be sure.

All the same, it made Cougar instantly wary. If this woman made Jensen uncomfortable, he wanted to be on his guard.

It appeared that might not be entirely necessary, however.

"Laura!" Jensen's responding grin was equally wide — and genuine.

He knew her by name, which was a bit of a surprise, but Cougar told himself he couldn't expect Jensen to tell him about _every_ person he knew outside of the team. That was unrealistic. Still, there was something about this woman that made Cougar want to frown. It might be the way she was looking at Jensen — the eager, almost _hungry_ glint in her eyes — that threw Cougar off. People didn't usually look at Jensen like that. In fact, he couldn't remember a single time anyone had.

It left him unsettled, an unpleasant feeling he couldn't quite name gathering in the pit of his stomach.

"How are you doing?" she asked as she walked over to them, stopping just a little bit closer than most people would when they met a person they apparently hadn't seen in a while. Then again, Jensen had no concept of personal space so he probably didn't even notice.

"Oh, pretty good," Jensen replied.

Cougar wondered if Laura could tell that Jensen was lying. Considering her easy smile, he'd say no.

"That's great." Laura pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "So, you're visiting your sister?"

"Yeah, me and my friend Cougar here."

Only then did Laura seem to register that Cougar was present which, he had to admit, was quite jarring. It became even more so when she turned to him and offered him a polite but ultimately uninterested smile.

"Nice to meet you."

On pure reflex, Cougar tipped his hat in response, but his thoughts were churning. As arrogant as it might make him sound, he wasn't used to being ignored — not by women and certainly not in favor of Jensen. Not that Cougar in any way thought himself better than him, it was just that this had never happened before.

Laura's gaze slid effortlessly back to Jensen, that hungry spark lighting up again.

It could be a simple matter of taste — Cougar might just not be her type — but he could tell that it was more than that. The way Jensen and Laura talked to each other made that obvious. While Jensen was his usual enthusiastic self, he didn't stutter or blurt out anything inappropriately flirty, instead sounding disorientingly confident and easygoing. The conversation was innocent, bordering on banal, really, but they talked with an ease that spoke of familiarity — of time spent and enjoyed together.

It took Cougar an embarrassingly long time to realize _why_ they must be so familiar with each other — he should have seen the signs right away — but it certainly hit him like a sledgehammer when he finally did.

These two had slept together at some point.

And, even more surprising than that, was that it must have been _very_ good sex.

Not that Cougar had assumed that Jensen was bad in bed — his enthusiasm and caring nature probably made him a very inventive and considerate lover — he just hadn't expected to be faced with proof of his apparent prowess. Jensen barely even got to first base with the women he flirted with, let alone as far as to have sex with them. So, in many ways, Cougar hadn't thought he'd ever find out for sure what Jensen was like in bed.

Apparently, the answer was pretty damned good, otherwise Laura wouldn't be so taken with him. And, the inviting smile, the way she kept playing with her hair, and how she casually placed her hand on Jensen's arm while they talked, showed that she was definitely interested in a repeat performance.

She wanted to have sex with Jensen again.

For a disorienting second, Cougar felt a flare of fierce possessiveness roar through him. He stifled it as quickly as possible, both stunned and horrified to have felt it in the first place.

He had no reason nor any right to feel possessive over Jensen.

He did, however, admit that he felt uncomfortable. Being the third wheel was a lot more awkward than he had expected and he wondered if this was what Jensen had felt, all those times when women came up to Cougar when they were hanging out at some bar. If so, he wondered why Jensen had never told him just how awful it was.

Cougar never wanted to make Jensen feel bad or unwanted.

Carefully, Cougar turned to continue their shopping. They still had a couple of things to find, which seemed like a much better use of his time than standing there, staring at Jensen while he talked to Laura. They were discussing the Petunias — Laura's niece was, apparently, also on the team — and Cougar doubted that either of them would notice if he slipped away.

When Cougar thought about it, he supposed that was what Jensen did, too, whenever Cougar's attention was caught by a pretty woman. At some point, Cougar would turn around and find that Jensen was no longer next to him. It was equally startling each time, mostly because Cougar was usually so aware of Jensen that he shouldn't be able to sneak off without Cougar taking notice. Knowing that Jensen _could_ was unsettling — it made Cougar feel like he had failed, somehow, and should be paying better attention.

Jensen would always matter more to Cougar than women he didn't even know.

With a distinct twist of guilt, Cougar realized that he had never told or shown Jensen that. He had never even tried and, as a result, Jensen had no way of knowing that was how Cougar felt.

Jensen deserved better than that — he _deserved_ do know how important he was.

Cougar swallowed tightly and, knowing that the grocery store was a bad place for this kind of epiphany, tried to focus on finding them some bananas instead. He had just picked up a suitable bunch when he heard Jensen say:

"Anyway, it was great seeing you, but we better continue." While the tone was light and carefree, it was still an obvious dismissal. "Hungry mouths to feed at home and all that."

Cougar stiffened, the guilt returning with a vengeance. Partly for making Jensen cut the conversation short — Laura was no doubt gearing up to ask him out on a date or something along those lines — but also because Jensen had noticed the _moment_ Cougar had tried to slip away. Unlike Cougar, he didn't let a pretty woman distract him so much that he lost track of his best friend.

That bitter taste of being wrong — of _failure_ — settled at the back of Cougar's throat.

A gentle touch at the small of his back made him look up. Cougar knew it was Jensen — no one else was allowed that far into Cougar's personal space — and that he was wordlessly asking for Cougar's attention. The smile Jensen was wearing now was calmer than the one he had given Laura, and a great deal softer.

"You find anything?" he asked.

Cougar could sense that Laura was still there, just out of view, but he didn't dare to look at her. It was safer to focus on Jensen for now.

Cougar nodded and held out the bananas he had picked, not quite knowing what to say. Jensen, as always, didn't seem to care — they had never needed words to communicate. He simply accepted the bananas and put them in the basket he was carrying.

It was embarrassing — _pathetic_ , even — how relieved Cougar was that Jensen didn't try to pursue Laura. She certainly wanted him to but, for whatever reason, Jensen wasn't interested. That didn't make much sense considering how eager Jensen usually was to talk to women he found attractive. Here was one who was clearly both enthusiastic and willing, and yet, Jensen chose Cougar over her.

Unless Jensen was so oblivious that he didn't even notice that Laura had been flirting with him, of course. Cougar supposed that was also a possibility.

Jensen looked over at Laura with a friendly smile.

"I'll see you at the next Petunias game."

Cougar was too curious not to glance over his shoulder at that. Laura looked a little surprised, clearly not having expected to be rebuffed. Then her gaze slid down to Jensen's hand, which was still resting against the small of Cougar's back — something he hadn't even noticed. There was a brief pause, then Laura's smile turned crooked — teasing, almost.

"Yeah, I'll see you both there," she said. As a parting gift, she reached out and gave Jensen's shoulder a playful punch. "Nice work, Jake."

Jensen's reply was a beaming grin, while Cougar was mostly surprised that he didn't correct the obvious misunderstanding. By the sounds of it, Laura thought that he had Jensen had a very different kind of relationship than they actually did — one that meant that Cougar was automatically invited to Beth's soccer games.

Granted, he _was_ , but mainly because he and Jensen rarely went anywhere without each other. Also, Cougar had gotten pretty invested in Beth's soccer career and she would never forgive him if he missed a game.

But Laura didn't know that.

Once she had disappeared around the corner, Cougar looked at Jensen with a frown. He couldn't say that he particularly cared what Laura thought — not even if it involved him and Jensen in a non-existent gay relationship — but it would have been more polite not to give her misconceptions.

"What?" Jensen asked, still smiling. He looked innocent — far too innocent — but Cougar decided that he didn't want to start that conversation in the middle of the produce aisle at the local grocery store.

So, he sighed and shook his head instead, deciding to just ignore it for now. They should focus on buying food.

Except that was clearly easier said than done, even for him.

Just as Jensen was about to reach for the lettuce again, Cougar heard himself say, "She wants to date you."

He wasn't sure why he said it. Perhaps because he felt it was his duty as Jensen's best friend to point this out, just in case he had missed it.

To Cougar's surprise, Jensen only smiled.

"I know," he said.

Something inside Cougar's chest _squeezed_ , making it just a little bit difficult to breathe, while a distracting rush of warmth spread through him.

That meant Jensen _chose_ to say no to her.

"You could." Cougar looked into Jensen's bright blue eyes and told himself he had to say this. Anything else would be selfish of him. "Date her, I mean."

Jensen let out a soft laugh and shook his head.

"Why would I?"

Cougar opened his mouth to reply, then realized that he had none. If Jensen didn't want to date someone, Cougar certainly wasn't going to force him.

With another laugh, Jensen threw his arm around Cougar's shoulders.

"I mean, I've got you, don't I?" Jensen said, grinning widely.

Cougar couldn't hold back an amused snort — that was hardly the same thing, no matter what Laura might think — but he wasn't going to argue, not if it meant Jensen might stop smiling. To Cougar, few things mattered as much as Jensen's happiness. That would, in all likelihood, never change.

After a fond huff, Cougar nudged Jensen's side.

"Lettuce," he reminded.

Jensen grinned and, before Cougar had time to react, Jensen had leaned in and pressed a kiss against his cheek. That wasn't anything out of the ordinary — Jensen was very tactile and loved to show his affection through platonic hugs and kisses — but the sudden flutter in Cougar's stomach certainly was. He barely dared to breathe, that thrilling, tingling feeling much too frightening.

Quickly — _desperately_ — Cougar pushed it down, knowing it was not something he could allow free reign. That kind of thing had the potential to ruin _everything_ and he had to kill it before it gained hold.

Jensen, fortunately, didn't seem to notice, already having slipped away to continue their shopping trip. Cougar had no idea what had just happened — or _why_ , for that matter — but he refused to name or acknowledge it. He couldn't, not when there was so much at risk — so much he could lose.

So, for both of their sakes, Cougar forced it down, locked it away, and chose to pretend that it had never even happened. It was better that way, surely.

Everything would be fine.

It was nothing.

 

* * *

 

**4.**

One of the downsides of being a sniper was that, sometimes, Cougar was utterly powerless if a mission went bad. Not every situation could be solved with a well-aimed bullet and he had never felt as helpless as when he could see a situation derail but knew there was nothing he could do to stop it.

This was no exception.

In the building across from Cougar, in the lavish penthouse owned by a rich, middle-aged CEO named Thomas Walters, the party was in full swing. The floor-to-ceiling windows made it easy for Cougar to keep an eye on the proceedings, but he was under strict orders not to shoot. He was meant to relay information only, while Aisha and Clay snuck into the man's office to steal a hard drive from his safe. If Aisha's sources were to be believed, Walters had just finished a deal with Max and, if they could get their hands on that hard drive, they would be one step closer to unraveling his schemes.

The night had started out fine, with them joking about Pooch and Clay having to disguise themselves as waiters in order to get inside, while Aisha easily slipped in as one of the many gorgeous women there for the party. Jensen was on the floor below Walters's, tucked away in an apartment whose owners were off on a hike in the Himalayas, tasked with keeping track of the surveillance cameras and the comms. He was also the backup, should the others need cover as they made a hasty exit.

If it hadn't been for Roque's absence and the bizarre setting, it would have almost felt like the good old days.

The second part of the mission — the one where Aisha and Clay broke into Walters's office —went off without a hitch. No one saw them leave, Jensen's hack for the door worked like a charm, and neither Aisha nor Clay would be missed as long as they were back within ten minutes. _If_ they got caught, they would pretend that they had sneaked off to have some ill-advised party sex.

It shouldn't be all that difficult for them to fake, Cougar figured.

While Aisha and Clay got to work on the safe, Cougar scanned the party, making sure no one strayed too close to their position. It was fine at first. The guests were much more interested in the free champagne than to go exploring and Walters had, in an effort to keep the atmosphere light, not stationed any guards inside the actual apartment. Most of them were posted in the corridor outside and the maintenance room two floors down, but they would no doubt come knocking at the first sign of trouble.

All in all, it shouldn't have been a very difficult mission but, as was often the case, complications soon arose.

Suddenly, Walters paused in the middle of a conversation with one of his guests and reached for his phone. Whatever he saw on the screen made him frown and Cougar could feel a chill of foreboding run down his spine. That was not good.

Walters excused himself to his guests and turned, heading for the door that would lead him down the corridor to his office. Whatever message he had gotten had to be work-related and time-sensitive, judging by his hurried steps. Cougar quickly relayed the information and Clay asked Pooch for a distraction.

The sudden crash of shattering glass made Walters stop and look up. Cougar couldn't risk taking his eyes off Walters, but he could hear Pooch apologize profusely, the words directed at the startled guests but filtering in over the comms as well. Walters looked frustrated, clearly torn between whatever business he had to take care of and the disruption of his party. In the end, his need to be a good host won out.

Cougar let out a slow breath of relief as Walters went to calm his guests, but Cougar knew it was a temporary solution at best. Two minutes ticked by and he could see Walters's restlessness growing.

"Hurry, boss," Cougar said.

"We're going as fast as we can," Clay snapped back. "Jensen, is there anything you can do?"

The silence following Clay's question made Cougar's chest clench with sudden dread. Jensen _always_ replied on comms, no matter what. The only times he didn't was when he was unconscious or otherwise incapacitated. There shouldn't be any trouble — Jensen had been fine a minute ago, sitting cooped up in the apartment below Walters's.

"Jensen?" Clay repeated, sharper this time, but not without a hint of concern.

"Sorry, my bad," Jensen said. It sounded like he was on the move, which he definitely shouldn't be. "Hang on, I have an idea."

"What? Jensen, you can't just—"

"Signing off," Jensen interrupted, ignoring Clay in favor of whatever impulsive plan he had come up with. Odds were Clay wouldn't approve of it anyway.

Clay let out a colorful curse. "Cougar, keep your eyes open."

There wasn't much else Cougar _could_ do, being a whole building away. It didn't matter if he wanted to push his rifle aside and dash off to stop Jensen from doing whatever stupid thing he was planning — he couldn't abandon his post. Not when the rest of the team might get hurt if he did.

So, Cougar's scope remained trained on Walters, watching as Pooch got quietly scolded and escorted off for his incompetence. Cougar's grip around his rifle tightened, knowing Aisha and Clay were on their own now. If the guards were called, Cougar couldn't do much to help. There were two panes of glass between him and possible targets and, since Clay had told him he would only be watching, he hadn't been given the time or tools to analyze the wind speed and direction. Sure, Cougar could make estimates — the distance wasn't all that great — but even just one shot would be extremely risky, let alone the number he would need to make a significant dent in the guard force.

"Boss," Cougar warned as Walters once again turned to head for his office, his guests having been appeased.

Cougar grit his teeth, his shoulders tight with tension as he watched Walters's progress.

"We need more time," Clay barked back. "Where the hell is Jensen? Cougs, I need you to—"

At that point, Cougar stopped listening, too distracted by the flash of familiar blond hair within his scope. Jensen was suddenly there, in front of Walters, and, a split second later, they collided with each other. There was no sound since Jensen had taken out his comm, but Cougar had a clear visual, watching as the champagne flute Jensen was holding splashed its content over them both.

Cougar was stunned. Of all the things he thought Jensen would do, this wasn't one of them. How he had gotten inside the apartment so quickly was a mystery in and of itself, but the fact that he somehow managed to appear like one of the guests was even more surprising.

This was not a part of the plan.

"Cougar? Are you there?" Clay sounded alarmed, meaning that wasn't the first time he'd said Cougar's name.

" _Sí_ ," Cougar managed. He decided he might as well explain his momentary lack of attention, watching as Jensen apologized to Walters for ruining his fancy suit. "Visual on Jensen."

"Where?"

Cougar exhaled through his nose. "The apartment."

There was a brief pause from Clay before he barked, " _What_? Why?"

To be honest, Cougar wasn't sure either, except for the obvious.

"Creating a diversion."

Clay let out another curse, but Aisha soon snapped at him to shut up and help her instead which, to be fair, would be more productive.

"Keep an eye on him," Clay ordered.

As if Cougar ever did anything else.

The shock of seeing Jensen inside the apartment was beginning to settle, allowing Cougar to actually register more than just the bare necessities. Like how Jensen must be wearing contacts since his glasses were nowhere in sight, and that he had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and popped open one more button than usual. Cougar had found it odd earlier that evening, when Jensen had chosen to wear a button-down for this op — he always preferred t-shirts — but perhaps he'd had this as a backup plan all along.

Considering that all the other men had shown up to the party wearing suits and vests, Jensen should stand out with his jeans and shirt but, somehow, he didn't. He looked _good_ , casually handsome and confident in a way Cougar had never seen before. At first glance, he could easily be mistaken for a model or a movie star, and the sight of him was, quite frankly, distracting.

Walters seemed to agree.

Suddenly, when seeing the look on Walters's face, the casual comment Jensen had thrown out during the briefing hours ago made a lot more sense. At the time, Cougar had found it weird that Jensen would point out that Walters was probably gay, since it had nothing to do with the mission.

Only now it did. In fact, the whole op might rely on Jensen's ability to keep Walters distracted long enough for Aisha and Clay to finish.

For some reason, the thought left Cougar nauseous.

He told himself it was because Jensen was terrible at flirting and couldn't be expected to pull off the ruse, but he knew he was lying to himself. From what Cougar could see, Jensen was doing fine.

This was unlike any other time Cougar had seen Jensen flirt.

Firstly because Jensen had never attempted to woo a man before — Cougar hadn't even considered that a possibility because of reasons he was too afraid to acknowledge — and, second, he had never seen him flirt so _well_. Cougar still couldn't hear what they were saying and the angle was wrong for him to read Jensen's lips, but he saw Walters's reaction just fine. The flare of pure want on the man's face made a tight knot of apprehension gather in Cougar's stomach.

He couldn't blame Walters, though. Even from an entire building away, Cougar could see the sureness in Jensen's posture, his gestures unusually graceful. Cougar had no idea how, but it was working — Walters looked completely spellbound, smiling up at Jensen like he hadn't just been in a hurry to get somewhere else.

Cougar didn't know what to feel but, since Jensen was keeping Walters away from Clay and Aisha, he bit back any complaints. He watched as Jensen took a hold of Walters's elbow and steered him towards one of the bathrooms, no doubt under the pretense of getting them cleaned up. Judging by Walter's entire countenance, he definitely wouldn't mind if he got more than that.

He looked like he was about to proposition Jensen right then and there.

Cougar had never seen anyone react to Jensen like this — though Laura had come close — but he knew for a fact that he didn't like it.

He liked it even less when it became clear that Jensen would disappear from Cougar's view within a couple of seconds. The bathroom he was heading toward was located on the other side of the building, away from the high windows Cougar was using to monitor the party, and Jensen, the fucking idiot, had taken out his comm. He would be completely alone with Walters for God knew how long, vulnerable and without immediate backup.

Cougar had to fight the urge to pull the trigger on Walters. To end the charade right then and there, before Jensen slipped out of his reach and into unknown dangers. It wasn't as if they actually _needed_ Walters alive, and Clay and Aisha had to be close to finished with the safe by then.

Of course, Cougar didn't do it in the end. No matter how tempted he was, the shot was still too risky, especially since the most likely innocent to be caught in the crossfire was Jensen.

Cougar was gritting his teeth so hard they hurt, trying desperately to keep the anger and worry at a reasonable level as Jensen turned around the corner and disappeared. Neither of those would help him now.

"Lost visual on Jensen and Walters," he reported tightly.

"Where did they go?" Clay asked.

"Bathroom."

Clay paused, clearly not sure what to make of that, but must have shrugged it off in favor of the task at hand.

"We'll be done soon. Keep us updated."

Cougar made a vague noise in reply, eyes trained on the corridor through which Jensen and Walters had disappeared. Another minute ticked by before Clay and Aisha finished with the safe and began making their way back to the party. Aisha would smuggle the hard drive out in her purse and they would all reconvene at a parking garage two buildings away. Pooch was, in all likelihood, already on his way there.

Clay had no trouble slipping out of the apartment and, about four minutes later, Aisha gracefully made her exit.

Jensen was still nowhere to be seen.

"Cougs, anything on Jensen?" Clay asked.

"Not yet."

Cougar could barely keep still. He had no idea what was going on inside that bathroom — what Jensen and Walters were doing that was taking so long — and it nearly drove him mad.

"Okay, stay until you do," Clay said, either unaware of or not willing to mention the underlying tension in Cougar's voice. "Aisha and I will head for the rendezvous."

If Clay had ordered him to do the same, Cougar would have refused. He was _not_ going to leave Jensen there alone. The reasonable side of Cougar said that Jensen wasn't in any danger — Walters had no reason to hurt him or call for the guards — but his protectiveness was difficult to curb.

By the time Jensen returned, Cougar was thrumming with pent up worry and frustration, only made worse when he saw that Jensen was wearing a different shirt. It made sense, since Jensen had spilled champagne all over his, but it still made Cougar unreasonably angry to know it had to be one that belonged to Walters.

Cougar pushed the anger down, knowing he had to focus. Only that was easier said than done when Walter appeared behind Jensen. He reached out, his hand curling around Jensen's hip, stopping him before he could step out from the relatively shielded corridor and back into the living room where the rest of the guests were. Jensen obediently turned around, looking relaxed despite the hand that settled possessively on his hip.

Something inside Cougar twisted and, despite not wanting to, he couldn't help wondering what it would feel like if that hand had been his. Would it fit as well as it looked like Walters's did? What would it feel like to have Jensen's warmth against his palm and feel that steady hum of energy against his fingertips?

Cougar grit his teeth, knowing there was no use wondering — he would probably never get to find out.

As much as it pained him, Cougar read Walters's lips as he suggested that Jensen should stay longer — preferably the night. Cougar still couldn't see Jensen's face, something he was beginning to think was intentional from Jensen's side, but the shake of his head was universal. Walters kept trying to cajole him, clearly not the kind of man to take no for an answer, and it wasn't until Jensen slipped out of his grip that Walters seemed to realize that Jensen was serious about leaving.

In an instant, his smile turned into a displeased frown and, to Cougar's relief, Jensen was smart enough to head for the door before any more protests could be made. Fortunately, Walters had too much pride to chase after him.

Cougar still kept an eye on them both, not relaxing until Jensen had made it out. They weren't entirely in the clear yet, having to report in and then make their way to the rendezvous, but the worst was over. The team had made it out of the apartment in one piece.

Now the only problem that remained was how Cougar was expected to behave when he saw Jensen face to face again. Far too many thoughts and emotions were fighting for attention inside of him and, if he didn't watch himself, Cougar might accidentally take them out on his best friend.

He would do his utmost to make sure that didn't happen but, deep down, he knew that things were going to change between them after this mission. He couldn't say why he was so sure, he just knew. What he had seen tonight would stay with him longer than he would like.

Things were going to change.

 

* * *

 

**5.**

A week later, they were visiting New Hampshire again. The hard drive they had stolen from Walters had offered them several new leads, but Jensen needed time to confirm and sort through them.

Naturally, Jensen asked if he could do so while at Jess's house and Clay had no objections. Mostly because it would give Pooch time to go home to Jolene and his baby boy without feeling too guilty about leaving the team, Cougar suspected. Aisha also took the opportunity to spend some time away from them and Clay, well, Cougar wasn't entirely sure where he went, just that they could call him if they needed to.

Cougar, unsurprisingly, stayed with Jensen.

Things had been awkward between them since the night of Walters's party. Cougar was even more silent than usual and Jensen seemed hesitant to start a conversation, no doubt sensing Cougar's unease. There was a distance between them now, one Cougar hated but couldn't quite work past. That still didn't mean that Cougar wanted to be anywhere else. It was his responsibility to watch over Jensen, even if it made him a little uncomfortable to know that Walters's shirt was, in all probability, still tucked away inside Jensen's duffle.

Besides, Jensen was too busy going through the stolen information to pay much attention to Cougar. They had been at Jess's house for three days and, aside from food breaks and playtime with Beth, Jensen had spent most of his time in the guest room in front of his computer.  
That was fine by Cougar, since it gave him time to relax, read books, and talk to Jess when she wasn't off at work. Cougar had always liked Jess. Unlike her brother, she was calm and levelheaded, not to mention fiercely protective, which was certainly something Cougar could relate to.

It was when the two of them were making dinner on the fourth day that it struck Cougar that Jess, if anyone, might be able to answer the questions that had been circling inside his head since Walters. Or since Laura, really.

Cougar stared down at the peppers he was chopping, feeling unexpectedly nervous. Probably because he wasn't sure how to start this conversation without sounding like an idiot.

"Just start from the beginning."

Cougar flinched, looking up at Jess in surprise. She met his gaze, an amused smile on her lips.

"I know you, Cougar, and I can tell when you have something you want to say but don't know how to say it." She shrugged and gave the pasta another stir. "So just say it. You know I don't care much about formalities."

Well, he couldn't argue with that.

After a slow breath, he decided to get straight to the point.

"Is Jake bad at flirting?"

Jess was clearly surprised by the question, tilting her head to the side.

"Why do you ask?"

Cougar continued to chop the peppers, albeit a little slower.

"He used to be." Cougar knew how little sense he was making but, like promised, Jess didn't seem to judge — not yet, at least. "He failed all the time. Scared the girls away."

Jess let out an amused snort, shaking her head when Cougar looked up at her.

"Nothing. It's just... well, let's just say I'm not surprised."

Cougar wasn't sure how to take that. "So he _is_ bad at it?"

If asked, Cougar wouldn't be able to explain why this mattered so much to him. Perhaps it was his pride again, wanting to know if he had been wrong all this time. But he couldn't understand how that was possible. _Why_ would Jensen spend years pretending to be bad at flirting if he wasn't? Or was it simply that he was bad at flirting with women? Although that wouldn't explain Laura.

It was all so confusing.

Perhaps Cougar was just desperate for some kind of explanation for all the things he had felt while watching Jensen talk to Laura and Walters. Cougar wasn't ashamed to admit that he'd been frightened by that dark, twisting anger clawing inside of him. He had a suspicion of what it might be, but he didn't want to name it. That would make it too real.

Jess sighed and turned to face Cougar.

"I think a better question to ask is _who_ he's been flirting with."

Cougar frowned and, fortunately, Jess was familiar enough with his non-verbal cues to know that meant he wanted her to elaborate.

"Okay, that's jumping ahead, I can admit." She shifted, leaning her hip against the kitchen counter. "You say he used to be bad at flirting, but he isn't anymore?"

Cougar nodded and put the knife down, deciding this conversation was better had without sharp implements involved.

"I saw him during a mission."

"Ah. Jake mentioned something about that." Jess hurried to continue at the displeased look Cougar gave her. "He didn't tell me any details, don't worry. Just that he had to jump in and act as a distraction." She smiled, shaking her head. "Anyway, the thing is, he's never been bad at flirting. Not even back in high school."

That was a surprise but, at the same time, exactly what Cougar had expected to hear, somehow. It would explain a lot.

"He's been a natural ever since he figured out how weak people are to those baby blues of his." Jess shrugged as if it was no big deal when, in reality, this was something that might very well change Cougar's entire worldview. At the very least shift it on its axis. "In fact, he used to sleep around quite a lot."

Cougar knew it was hypocritical of him to feel a sting of hurt at that. It was none of his business — Jensen was free to do whatever he wanted — and _Cougar_ had certainly not made any attempts to remain celibate.

"But he stopped several years ago." Jess eyed Cougar meaningfully, as if waiting for him to catch on to some kind of hidden clue. "My point is," she continued, "if he's striking out now, it means he's doing it on purpose."

"For _years_?" Cougar asked incredulously. That was, after all, how long Cougar had watched Jensen fail at flirting.

Jess smile took on a hint of exasperation.

"Yes, Cougar, for years. Just because he _can_ flirt, it doesn't mean he has to. And it doesn't mean he actually wants to succeed. Why try getting it on with someone you're not even interested in?"

Cougar frowned. That made no sense. Why _wouldn't_ Jensen be interested in all those women when _he_ was the one who approached them?

Jess pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

"You know, for being so clever, you certainly are stupid sometimes, Cougar," she said.

The words were fond, sure, but Cougar still gave her an insulted glare. Jess just looked amused, taking a step closer to place her hand on his arm.

"Cougar, sweetheart, what do you think happened all those years ago that made Jensen change his mind about sleeping around? Seven years, if you want to be more exact."

There was only one answer that Cougar could think of, one that came to him without effort or conscious thought — a knee-jerk reaction he couldn't even control. It was ingrained in him as one of the moments that had changed his life forever. He opened his mouth to reply, but then, suddenly, everything Jess had told him finally clicked into place.

Seven years ago, Jensen had joined their team.

Cougar could still remember the first time he'd seen him, bright-eyed and incurably enthusiastic, and how Jensen had stopped the moment their gazes met. How he had looked stunned for a second, before the wide smile returned and he'd held out his hand for Cougar to shake. He could still remember how warm Jensen's hand had been in his and that his first thought had been that Jensen's eyes were distractingly, shockingly blue.

With everything Cougar knew now, that moment suddenly took on a whole new meaning.

He understood what that slight hitch in Jensen's breath — that he'd registered but written off as nerves — actually meant. He realized that he hadn't imagined Jensen's gaze sliding back to him, time and time again, even as he was introduced to the rest of the team. And, for the first time, Jensen's instant fascination and attachment to him had an explanation.

Cougar wasn't one to believe in love at first sight but, on the other hand, he couldn't lie and say that he _hadn't_ felt something shift inside of him when he'd first laid eyes on Jensen.

His life hadn't been the same since.

"There you go."

Cougar blinked and looked at Jess, her smile warm. She raised her hand and cupped his cheek.

"Only once have I seen him too nervous to flirt with the person he's actually interested in," she said fondly. "You matter far too much to him, Cougar. He was afraid of how you'd react."

Cougar didn't know what to say. He could barely remember how to breathe, let alone talk.

"And you'll have to forgive him for all those times he failed at flirting in front of you." Jess shook her head. "He probably didn't know how else to get your attention. He's a bit of an idiot sometimes, my darling brother."

That Jensen had spent _years_ being intentionally bad at flirting was difficult to grasp, even more so when knowing that he'd done so because he was too afraid to flirt with the person he actually wanted.

Jess had been right. The question wasn't whether or not Jensen was bad at flirting, but rather _who_ he had been trying to flirt with all those times.

Because, when Cougar thought about it, Jensen had always looked the most happy when Cougar came to join him after he had gotten shot down. It was one of the times when Cougar gave all of his attention to Jensen, without interruptions or distractions. A part of Cougar suspected that he should, perhaps, feel tricked or used, but the truth was that he didn't. In fact, no matter how many times he had watched Jensen try to flirt with a girl, Cougar had never felt threatened by them. He had always known that Jensen preferred his company.

Until Laura.

When Laura showed up, Cougar had been forced to face his own assumption that it would always be that way — that Jensen would always be his, first and foremost.

He might not have put it in those words before, but they rang true.

With a pang, Cougar realized how terrible that was. That he had only started paying attention when someone else had shown interest in Jensen. Only then had he realized what he had — and what he might lose, if he didn't start making an effort to hold on to it.

All those flares of anger hadn't been concern or vigilance, but jealousy — he couldn't deny it any longer. He felt _possessive_ over Jensen, which was something he definitely had no right to do. Jensen wasn't his, even if Cougar might have subconsciously thought so for years.

He had been making all kinds of assumptions.

Cougar flinched when Jess took his hands in hers, squeezing tightly.

"I can see you freaking out, Cougs." Jess held his gaze, her own firm. "Don't do that. What you need to do it talk to him, okay? And sort this out. Can you promise me that?"

Cougar's throat was tight, the guilt tasting bitter on his tongue, but he nodded all the same. He and Jensen _did_ need to talk, about Walters and this — about their relationship in general. They couldn't postpone it much longer.

Things were already tense between them and Cougar didn't want to let that fester.

"Good." Jess gave his hands another squeeze, together with a soft smile. "You'll figure this out."

Cougar sure hoped so. He wasn't ready to lose Jensen — not to this — but he would be lying if he said that he looked forward to what was to come.

It was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

 

* * *

 

**+1**

After a deep, fortifying breath, Cougar knocked on the doorframe to the guestroom. Jensen looked up from his computer, a wide smile spreading on his lips.

"Hiya, Cougs. To what do I owe..." Jensen trailed off when Cougar stepped inside the room and calmly shut the door behind him.

Jensen's gaze searched Cougar's face, but there wasn't much to see. Cougar knew how to keep his face blank when he wanted to. The downside was that Cougar's lack of expression quickly made it obvious to Jensen that they were about to have a serious conversation.

Jensen's smile faded. "Oh."

Carefully, he closed the lid of his laptop before turning his chair to face Cougar. There was fear in his eyes, but also resignation — an acceptance of what was to come.

He looked like a man waiting for his execution.

Cougar supposed that made sense, since Jensen had no idea what thoughts had been rolling around inside Cougar's head since he talked to Jess just before dinner. Jensen had no idea that Cougar _knew_ and that — instead of being angry or disgusted like Jensen must have feared — he felt tentatively hopeful.

After swallowing, Jensen asked, "So, I'm guessing you want to talk?"

Cougar leaned back against the closed door, nodding slowly.

"About what happened at Walters's?"

It was as good a place to start as any, Cougar supposed.

"You shouldn't have done that," Cougar said, catching Jensen's gaze. He realized it was better to clarify, though. "You took out your comm."

Jensen looked guilty, glancing to the side. "I know. I mean, I _had_ to, unless I wanted him to spot it. Besides, I just didn't..."

"Want me to hear," Cougar finished. He hadn't expected Jensen to flinch at the words, nor that he would hunch in on himself, obviously uncomfortable.

"Well, yeah." Jensen fingered the hem of his t-shirt. "I mean, we both know how bad I am at—"

Cougar decided to interrupt before Jensen got any further.

"No, you're not." Cougar crossed his arms over his chest. "That's why you took it out."

Jensen hadn't wanted Cougar to hear what it sounded like when he really _was_ trying to charm someone. He'd wanted to spare Cougar from that and, perhaps, since Jensen had spent so long pining after Cougar, it might even have felt a little bit like cheating to him. Jensen had still done it, though, because it was one of the few things that could have saved the mission on such short notice.

They wouldn't have been successful without his intervention.

"I'm not angry," Cougar said, easily able to read the distress in Jensen's posture — the way he refused to look Cougar in the eye and kept fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "You did well."

Despite the words being nothing but praise, Jensen's jaw clenched, his hands closing around the fabric.

"Okay," he said, tone flat. "Thanks."

This wasn't going as Cougar had hoped. Perhaps it was best to simply cut to the chase.

"It was always about me."

Like expected, Jensen stiffened and his head snapped up. His eyes went wide, the fear returning.

"All those women," Cougar continued, still leaning against the door. "It was never them. Just me."

Jensen hurriedly got to his feet, his face pale. "Cougs, I—"

"You looked worried, when Laura showed up." Cougar looked at Jensen, feeling calmer the more he talked. Jess had been right about them needing to sort this out. Cougar had no idea where they would end up once they had, but it was too much to carry around. "Because you were afraid of what I would see. What conclusions I would draw."

The expression on Jensen's face was downright _painful_.

"I didn't want you to think that I..." Jensen cleared his throat. "I mean, I _do_ care about her, but not like _that_. It was ages ago since she and I actually, uh..."

"She thinks we are, though."

They had never actually discussed that particular detail, but Cougar knew Jensen must have realized her mistake, just like he had.

Jensen winced, looking so unhappy Cougar had to fight an urge to hug him.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"I'm not," Cougar replied.

 _That_ certainly caught Jensen's attention, but he looked confused more than anything.

Cougar swallowed, forcing himself to keep going — knowing this was something he had to get out there before it consumed him.

"I was jealous."

Jensen frowned. "Jealous?"

Cougar wasn't proud of it, but he wouldn't be able to move on if he didn't come clean. Jealousy was such an ugly emotion and he didn't want it to rule his and Jensen's relationship, whatever it might end up being.

"Of Laura and Walters." Cougar had to force himself not to look away — he was going to face this head on. "I saw you with them and I..."

He hesitated, not sure how to finish the sentence.

Only that was a lie — he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

Cougar took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to change his mind, even if he knew that he wouldn't. Some would say that he was rushing, but, to Cougar, it felt like he should have realized this years ago. Jess certainly seemed to think so.

"I wanted it to be me," he said softly. He might not have understood that until earlier that day, but that didn't make him want it any less. That didn't make it feel any less right.

Jensen didn't seem to know how to react, much less _do_. There was tentative hope in his eyes, but also a fair share of wariness, as if all of this sounded too good to be true. After spending so many years pining, Cougar could understand his hesitation, and he was willing to give Jensen that final push, if he needed one.

He caught Jensen's gaze and offered a small, fond smile.

"You want that too, don't you?" he asked.

Jensen swallowed, but didn't look away. His nod was hesitant — shy, almost — which was certainly unusual for him. Cougar, on the other hand, allowed himself to relax. That was all he needed to know.

"Then seduce me," he said.

The words felt foreign on Cougar's lips — he was usually the one doing the seducing — but he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious. Walters had been mesmerized by Jensen within _seconds_ and that couldn't just have been his pretty looks.

Jensen's eyebrows shot up. "You... want me to seduce you?"

" _Sí_." Cougar's smile lingered. "How would you do it?"

The moment held, a beat of silence that hung between them, before Jensen must have decided that Cougar was serious. His shoulders lowered as the tension bled out of him and, at that moment, Cougar got his first glimpse of how wrong he had been, thinking that Jensen didn't know how to be charming.

Jensen let out a short laugh and tilted his head to the side.

"Sure, I can do that."

A shiver of anticipation went down Cougar's spine, but he remained leaning against the closed door for now. He wanted to see what Jensen would do.

"I suppose I have a slight advantage, since I know you so well." Jensen spoke calmly, close to a drawl, and Cougar had to admit it was quite effective. "I know that you like it when I talk. You like my voice."

Well, that was certainly true, especially when he talked like this, slow and hypnotizing. Cougar couldn't even count the times he had used Jensen's voice to ground himself, be it during a mission or after a particularly bad nightmare. Just being in Jensen's presence was enough to calm him, but hearing his voice added an extra layer of comfort that Cougar had stopped trying to deny himself.

He would never tire of listening to Jensen talk.

"You don't really like pick-up lines and all the usual compliments would just bore you," Jensen continued, taking a step closer, then another.

Cougar had never seen him move so smoothly. He'd always known that Jensen had a grace in him that few could ever hope to imitate — a lightness in his steps and fluidity of his body that was reminiscent of a dancer's — but Jensen so seldom used it. The fact that he did so now was enough to make Cougar swallow.

His gaze remained fixed on Jensen, a spark of heat igniting in his gut when he saw the look in his eyes. There was fire there — a yearning that made Cougar a little breathless — but also an unexpected patience.

Jensen was going to draw this out, Cougar could tell.

"You like the truth, though." Jensen stopped just on the edge of Cougar's personal space, challenging but not intruding. "So, I would tell you that you are the most beautiful man I have ever seen, but that's not even half as important as everything else."

Cougar's heart had begun to race, the beats loud in his ears.

"Like the fact that you're my best friend and one of the few people who has accepted me just the way I am, no questions asked." Jensen's smile was achingly fond, his gaze soft, and, not for the first time, Cougar was struck by how long his eyelashes were. "That you make me feel safe when I'm afraid. That you trust me, even when I know it's hard. That you would never, ever hurt me, and that you know that I would never hurt you, either."

Breathing was getting more and more difficult and Cougar stopped entirely when Jensen inched closer, just enough to push into Cougar's space. They were still far from touching, but Cougar could feel the mounting tension like a caress against his skin.

"You make me feel brave."

Jensen reached out and carefully lifted the hat from Cougar's head. In his peripheral, Cougar could see Jensen place it on the closest flat surface, but he had to admit that he didn't care. He couldn't look away from Jensen, his breaths on the verge of trembling.

"You make me believe in myself." The words were nothing but a whisper, like an intimate secret between them, as momentous as they were sincere. "There's no one like you, Cougar."

Even after years of knowing each other, Cougar was occasionally stunned by Jensen's ability to say such heartfelt and open things. He did it without hesitation, the words coming easily to him, and all Cougar could do was listen, heartbeat racing and throat tight.

"And the fact that I get to be one of those you rely on — that you consider me your best friend — that's more precious to me than you can possibly imagine."

When Jensen raised his hand, Cougar found himself holding his breath.

"I know how rare it is for you to let people in and I will never stop being grateful that I'm one of those you trust."

Jensen's hand stopped, his fingertips just shy of touching Cougar's jaw. They stayed there, close enough that Cougar could imagine their warmth, another thrill running down his spine. The moment held, breathless with sizzling tension, and Cougar realized that Jensen was asking for permission. They weren't foreign to touching each other, but this was a different kind of touch — one that would change things between them forever.

Cougar looked into Jensen's eyes — those beautiful, blue eyes — and knew it wasn't even a choice at this point. He couldn't picture a life without Jensen and felt no fear or hesitation at the thought of taking that one, final step. All of this might still be new to him, but it was definitely what he wanted.

So, after giving Jensen a tender smile, Cougar tilted his head, just enough for Jensen's fingers to finally touch his skin. Like expected, Cougar shivered at the contact, that warm ember at the pit of his stomach flaring brighter. Jensen's hand slid higher, his thumb stroking Cougar's cheekbone, and Cougar didn't even realize that he'd closed his eyes until Jensen's other hand rose to cover his other cheek.

Cougar's eyes fluttered open and gently, ever so carefully, Jensen tilted his head back. The look on Jensen's face made Cougar's heart skip a beat. The utter reverence he saw in Jensen's gaze — the longing, care, and affection — was as humbling as it was addicting.

"If I were to seduce you," Jensen began, now so close that Cougar could feel his breath against his own lips, "I would tell you that I've loved you since the first time I saw you. I would tell you that, in that moment, my life changed forever and I have not regretted a single second since then, because I got to spend them with you. I would tell you that I love you, from the bottom of my heart, and always will."

At that point, Cougar was grateful to have the door to lean against because he was feeling pretty weak in the knees. The certainty in Jensen's voice — the emotions he made no attempt to hide — made a lump appear in Cougar's throat.

Never before had he felt as loved as he did in that moment, but also never as vulnerable.

Jensen did things to him that no one else could and it left Cougar fumbling for purchase. It left him raw and breathless and more desperate than he'd ever been in his entire life. As he stood there, with Jensen's hands framing his face, it struck Cougar that, for the first time in years, he was utterly at someone else's mercy.

And he had never felt more safe.

It was true, what Jensen had said — Cougar knew that Jensen would never hurt him. He knew that Jensen would protect and care for him, to the very end. Jensen would never fail him.

Cougar let out a trembling breath, his heartbeats echoing inside of him, beating hard and fast against his ribs. At the same time, he felt utterly calm. He looked up into Jensen's eyes and all he felt was peace — sweet, liberating peace.

To lean in that last inch was easy.

The first touch of Jensen's lips against his lit sparks of pleasure under Cougar's skin. The kiss was electrifying — _breathtaking_ — and so perfect that Cougar never wanted it to end. All that building tension suddenly crested, fierce and hungry, setting his nerve-endings alight.

His hands fit perfectly as they settled onto Jensen's hips, desperate to keep him close — to pull him _closer_ — and Jensen obliged without hesitation. He slotted against Cougar, pushing him against the door, and, for a moment, Cougar couldn't breathe, too caught up in the smell of him, the taste of Jensen on his lips, and the warmth radiating from his body. Cougar's entire world narrowed down to nothing but Jensen — nothing else seemed to matter.

The kiss deepened and Cougar reveled in it, greedily savoring the sensations. He was surprised by how willing he was to just let go — usually, he would insist on being in control — but he should have known that Jensen would somehow find a way to change that. Jensen was probably the only one who could — the only one Cougar trusted enough to let his guard down with.

Cougar wanted Jensen with a ferocity he hadn't expected, but was certainly prepared to embrace.

Much too soon, Jensen pulled back and, for a split second, Cougar almost chased after him. It took everything he had not to.

They were both breathing too fast, Cougar's heartbeat racing, each of Jensen's exhales tickling against his lips. Cougar was almost shaking with need, too overwhelmed to do much else, and could definitely see the benefit in slowing down.

After a trembling sigh, Jensen rested their foreheads together, his hands still framing Cougar's face. He was a firm, solid weight against Cougar's own body, keeping him pinned against the door — keeping him safe and grounded. One beat at a time, Cougar's heart began to slow to a more reasonable level. Jensen stayed close, still touching, both of them still desperate for that connection.

Several seconds passed before Jensen swallowed and hoarsely murmured, "That's what I would do."

Cougar felt a wave of giddiness — an emotion he wasn't very familiar with — and a quiet laugh bubbled out of him. He could still feel Jensen's kiss burn against his lips, his entire being thrumming with happiness.

"Very convincing."

Jensen laughed, too, relieved and still a little breathless.

"I'm glad to hear that." He straightened slightly, catching Cougar's gaze. "I would hate to fuck up the one time it actually mattered."

The only thing Cougar could do was smile.

"You didn't," he assured and, before Jensen had time to start worrying about anything else, Cougar leaned in for another kiss. It seemed a much better use of their time.

Jensen instantly relaxed into it, one of his hands sliding into Cougar's hair. For once, he seemed to realize that talking really wasn't the highest priority, the kiss turning deep and just shy of filthy within seconds. It was quite delightful.

As far as sorting things out, Cougar would call this a success. They still had some things to talk about, sure, but that could wait until later. For now, Cougar was much more interested in finding out how quickly he could make Jensen breathless again.

One thing was for sure, however, and Cougar was pleased to have finally gotten an answer.

Jensen was definitely not bad at flirting.

 

**Author's Note:**

>  **I want to remind everyone that[Trading Losers](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/post/169044434668/hey-losers-its-time) is still open for another two weeks! So, if you want a fic or art from me, don't forget to send in your works!** I'm a little behind on my parts of the trades, I admit, but I'll try to catch up!
> 
> Also, here's a link to [buckybunnyteeth's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybunnyteeth/pseuds/buckybunnyteeth) fic called _[my lover's got humour he's the giggle at a funeral](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14938373)_! Go read it!
> 
> You can find me on my [Tumblr](http://amethystinawrites.tumblr.com/) (despite the rule changes, I have no current plans to leave, no) and I'll see you next time, my lovelies!


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